Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Closure: I'm Ready To Let Go

It's been a year and a half, At last, it's all coming to an end. Overpowered by all these feelings I had to bend. Reshaping them back into the state that they were in. No one apprehends, this is the most I've had to submit. But one thing's for sure, the next time I'll bend, I won't bend till I break.I was his everything, I was his "dream", I was everything, but he didn't see. It took me time to realize it couldn't mean less to him, than it does to me.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Freaking Friday

HALLELUJAH! It's Friday!!! I just want to cherish the fact that I have two days of doing non-work relative things to look forward to; like watch my little sister play soccer, or just chill with my friends at a bar. Ah, what a bliss!

Well, I'll get this short today. Here is something I received on my email  by one of my friends. Thanks Mike!!

"I don’t care if Monday’s blue
Tuesday’s grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don’t care about you
It’s Friday, I’m in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Oh, Thursday doesn’t even start
It’s Friday I’m in love

Saturday, wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday, never hesitate…

I don’t care if Mondays black
Tuesday, Wednesday – heart attack
Thursday, never looking back
It’s Friday, I’m in love

Monday, you can hold your head
Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed
Or Thursday – watch the walls instead
It’s Friday, I’m in love

Saturday, wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday, never hesitate…

Dressed up to the eyes
It’s a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a sheik
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It’s such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It’s Friday, I’m in love

I don’t care if Monday’s blue
Tuesday’s grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don’t care about you
It’s Friday, I’m in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn’t even start
It’s Friday I’m in love"

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Inspirational Sparks

We all have those who inspire us. Those who encourage us to do better, be better, and want better. Those people who create that spark of "divine guidance or influence exerted directly on the mind and soul". Some call them role models. Others call them mentors. People we look up to, people who we respect and don't take for granted. Those who we will be loyal to in the good and bad. These great people I am about to mention are so worthy, I'm trying to find words to describe how amazing they are and how grateful I am to at least have them as my cyber peeps and no matter what happens, if they're upset, disappointed or even give me the cold shoulder, I will always support them 100%. They have my back and my loyalty.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Querida Madre.....

Hi Mom. Uhm. It's been so long since I've spoken to you. It's been 16yrs since you've been gone. I'm sorry I haven't gotten the guts to talk you. I actually can't. I'm scared. I choke up. You see, my eyes are teary now. This is why I haven't, it's time. Here it goes....

This month I hate. Since it's the month God took you away. Let me start by saying I miss you. Albert too. He still hasn't comes to grips of your lost; I've tried to console him, but it hasn't work. He's 28 now and if it hasn't helped him, guess there's nothing I could do now, or is there? He's engaged with this lovely girl. Don't worry, she treats him well and feeds him right. I haven't spoken to him in years. You know how it is.... Everyone goes on with there lives. It's sad but true.

I truly miss you. I wish you would of have been there when I need you. I still need you. I've come a long way. I'm a new person. If you saw me now, you wouldn't recognize me. I'm all grown up. I'm a women. A women who's determined to accomplish what she aspires in life. I love life and am willing to live it to the fullest! Just wish you could of been there mom. You would be so proud of me. I never gave up. I kept struggling. Kept on motivating myself. Even though I never had the support nor the motivation of my other family members, I did it on my own.

Sometimes I feel lost. I need your advise. Who is going to give it to me? Who will I turn too? I really need you near. I miss when you use to sing to me and tucked me in bed. I miss you doing my hair, picking out my clothes. I still eat M&M because they were you favorite. I remember you saying that " always eat the green one last, because they'll give you good luck". I still do. I have tons of pictures of you, Albert and I. I look at them time to time whenever I feel the nostalgia. But I always look at them on October, this month, because it's when the thought of you crosses my mind the most.

Hey mom? You know what I regret me not doing? Track & Field like you did back in high school and college. I should of. I'm fast, you know I am. Wish I appeared in the paper like you. I know if you were alive, you would of motivated me to do so. It sucks because when God took you awake, I felt like I was dreaming. "It can't be!" I was in shock. In such a shock, I came to grips with it when I was 17 and started to sob like if it just happened then. I need help. It was a miracle the thought of suicide didn't pop up, because, seriously, I don't remember my Adolescence years at all. Abuela says I use to be in my room for long periods of time.

How am I doing now? Well......guess I'll have to tell you another time. It's a long story. I have lots to say. It's been a journey. Lots of ups and downs, but all know is, I'm aiming high and I know when I tell you, you'll be so proud to know how I stand now and the person who've I become......

To Be Continued.....

Friday, October 16, 2009

Rambling Of Burning Desire

Don't know why I'm feeling like this, but I gotta come to grips, that this feeling is making me sick. Looking at me, I could only guess what I'm thinking. These feelings are aroused and the night is waiting, hoping you'll realize before it starts fading.

The adventure starts while we kiss. The tingly spark makes my toes cringe. My beat is like the wind in overdrive. This feeling is causing me to loose my mind.

The desire, drink up your body, Cinnamon and fire. Oh the desire, feel the moment, the passion, the power.

Calm down, everything has it's time, don't want to push my self, take it one step at a time.

Don't run too fast or the sweet becomes bitter, keep sailing.
Wait for this trip which could be yours and mine, but don't wait to long, here comes the cry when you don't get to see the moment our finger intertwine.

Photo Courtesy of: Михал Орела_8059

Thursday, October 15, 2009

National Grouch Day?!?! WTF?!?!

If your a grouch then this is the perfect day just for you! Today is the day where you actually have an excuse to be grouchy all day long. Who in the heck would have known , other than myself, that there would be a such  day like “National Grouch Day”? I'm assuming that it’s just a day for fun, especially in the mid of October, when the weather is chilly enough that it causes everyone to want to take a day off from the tiring and blah routine. I'm not speaking for myself since I have yet to experience a bad day at work.

Well, for all those who do celebrate it, I'll just think of it as a day to drop the “nice” act and allow my inner grouchiness to get lose and go ape shit on everyone all day. The bad thing here is, I AM NOT A GROUCH!. I'm usually calm and conscientious, but since it IS the "National Grouch Day", I'll give it a try. Hmmmm, what would I do if I were a grouch, what would I do?!?........

  • I'll be a total a-hole driver who cuts people off, refuses to use a turn signal. I might also toss in some rude gesture, hehe 
  • Be condescending to my co-workers. Better yet, I'll alienate everyone who crosses my path at work. (I hate people who are condescending, but since this is me being a "grouch", I'll play along with it)
  • I'll bitch to everyone all day! About how come the guys didn't  put the toilet sit down after they used it or how I have to wake up at the crack of ass every morning then too tired to head to my night classes.

Whew!! Enough with the grouchiness. It's not in my nature. Well, even though it's grouch day and you're not suppose to say "nice" things to anyone, I have to go with my mood.....HAVE AN AWESOME DAY! :-D

Source Image: Home & Garden Blog

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Downtime -Time To Hibernate

Social networking, blogging and reading articles, are a major part in my life. I am certain that I'm not the only person who thinks the same about this. Sometimes we need to disconnect, unplug ourselves from the "Cyber World" so we can recharge our battery to continue when we reconnect. It is a way to stay productive and keep our creativity going from day to day, preventing our brain to "freeze" and not having to hit control-alt-delete.

Here is a list of things I do when I'm unplugged and charging.

  • Soccer:  Don't get to excited now. It's not what you're thinking. I DON'T play but I wish I had. I actually go to my little sister's soccer games and tournaments. She's 12 and plays in a club team here in Baltimore. The great part of this is we travel to different states. It's none of that around the corner games. Every season, we head to Richmond, WAGS (aka Washington Area Girls Soccer League), North Carolina, Pennsylvania and now this weekend she is playing on the State Cup 2010 here in Maryland. I am so stoked and proud of her.

  • Read: I enjoy reading on a Sunday afternoon. Right now, I'm reading Penelope Trunk's Book " A New Road to Success". It's really interesting I must say. I recommend it to everyone. My Favorite kind of books are suspense and drama. I know, how ironic. I hate drama in general, especially if it's in my everyday life or people who bring it along with them, and here I am reading those types of books.

  • Music: I heart my I-POD! Other that my hand bound leather journal, that is my second personal possession. I just love to put the head phones on and just drift away to my own world. It's just a way for me to disconnect from everything and everyone; for at least and hour.

  • The Great Outdoors: Ahh, how I love to just go out an expolore God's creation. Go on a bike ride, walk at the park, play volleyball, go hiking. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to go hiking since my little sister made the her soccer club team. It's been hectic, but I will definitely get back to it. I'm thinking to head to Vermont before this year ends because I might consider snowbording. Any good spots?

Well, there you go. This is what I do when I disconnect from the Cyber World. I do other things but I'm not putting it all out there. Little by litte, you'll get to know me; not all of it, but just enough to grab your attention and like me a tiny bit.

So, what do you do when you unplug yourself from the cyber world?

Credit For Image: Generous